Don’t only discuss what you want to do, also discuss what the words you’re using mean. Instead I usually prefer to have negotiation conversations like these in coffee shops or during long car rides. I also recognize that I am in the minority of folks who find spreadsheets sexy and I don’t expect you to fill out you Yes/No/Maybe Lists in your finest lingerie.
It can be revisited often, as people’s preferences can fluctuate, and it’s a fun way to get new ideas and reflect on your own desires. Your Yes/No/Maybe List is a tool to use in an ongoing conversation about all the sexy things you want to do together.
Your Yes/No/Maybe List is not a contract, it’s not consent, and it’s not set in stone. The goal here is to focus on the things you can do together and not dwell on the nos, You should NEVER try to talk someone out of their no or expect them to explain it to you, though they may choose to. Then the partners reconvene and discuss where their yesses overlap. and sorts each one into one of three columns: Yes, No, or Maybe. It’s simple, each person involved in the negotiation takes a list of activities/terms/food items etc. A Yes/No/Maybe list is a common tool in kink circles for negotiating scenes, but really, you could use it to negotiate… pretty much anything.